How Can I Foster Vocations in my Family? - Fr. Andrew Reckers

Several parents have asked me a thoughtful question: How can I help my children discern their vocations? This is, of course, an excellent question because the family is the first and most formative “seedbed” for the growth of vocations. God is the one who calls each of us to our vocation, and He is infinitely creative in how He does this. As a result, I cannot hope to come up with an exhaustive list or manual for how to foster vocations in the family. Instead, this article is a reflection on some of the many ideas that can help make your family more conducive to prayerful vocational discernment.

Faithfully go to Mass every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation as a family. This first point sounds pretty basic, and indeed it is one of the five Precepts of the Church. However, it needs to be said because sadly, not every Catholic family does this today. If this first point is a routine struggle for your family, then you need to seriously discuss what your family priorities are. Absolutely nothing is more important than union with God and eternal life for you and your family (see Matthew 16:26). You may need to make courageous changes such as giving up sports or even making career changes in order to truly put God first in your family life. Parents, if you want your kids to take their vocations seriously, then you need to take God and His commandments seriously as a family.

Pray as a family at home every day. Prayer isn’t just the best way to hear God’s call in our lives—it is the only way. However, prayer is a battle (see Catechism of the Catholic Church 2725). Prayer is a skill that requires daily practice and discipline, like bodily exercise. A helpful thing, though, is that for most people, prayer is easier when done as a group than when done alone. This is where daily family prayer comes in. Parents, you can help your children tremendously to grow closer to the Lord by teaching them how to pray by your example and daily practice as a family. When this happens, the vocational call from the Lord becomes clearer and easier to follow.

Get involved in your faith and parish. As a family, finding ways to put your faith into practice is the way to make it “come alive.” Of course, this involves learning more about the faith as a family, but the faith isn’t just an intellectual exercise. Be creative in how you can get your whole family involved in the life of your parish. Parents, as you get your kids involved in ways to serve the parish and community, they will learn how to put their faith into loving action and hear their vocational call through their life of service.

Ask your kids about their vocations. Parents, it is never too early to start asking your kids what they think God is calling them to be. Of course, this needs to be done lovingly and gently, without nagging or pushing. However, periodically asking this question, and especially letting your kids know that they will have your loving support in whatever God’s vocation is for them, will be a tremendous help. Be patient and loving, for many kids can be shy about opening up to you about their vocations, especially if they think that their vocation isn’t the one that may be expected by other members of the family.

Speak positively about your religious, deacons, priests, bishop and the pope. What you say about all these people at home can have a tremendous impact on how your kids view religious vocations, for good or ill. It is also very important to realize that negativity is far more “contagious” and long-lasting than positivity, especially when this comes from people your children look up to. So, be very careful what you say about the clerics and religious in your community and at home. If you must address issues with any of these people, respectfully and carefully discuss the issues without making personal attacks on the character of the individual or on their office in the Church. Rash judgment, gossip and detraction can be very serious sins, and a “poisoned well” takes a very long time to clean.

Invite your seminarians, deacons, priests, and religious to your home. There is no better way for everyone in your family to get to know people with religious and clerical vocations than by regularly inviting them to your home. It is even better if you get the chance to invite a variety of them to meet and interact with your family. For example, I have experienced several families who routinely invite several priests to their home, and each of the kids has a picture of their “favorite priest” that they regularly pray for. These families also make prayer for their vocations a part of their daily family prayer.

Of course, the list of ideas can go on from here. I invite you to prayerfully decide as a family how to do as many of these things as you can. I also invite you to come up with other good ideas that I did not mention in this article and encourage others to do them as well. The future of our communities, parishes, families, homes, and hearts depends on each of us being faithful to the vocations that God has given us. May God bless you and give you the wisdom and strength to be faithful to Him in fostering the vocations He is calling us to.