Desire to Change - Fr. Aaron Hess

During one of my classes at seminary, we read a book by Dietrich von Hildebrand in which he layed out a practical path one can follow to grow in holiness and virtue in their lives, step by step. There were different chapters focusing on many ideas I have been able to utilize in my own life as well as in counseling others through their own lives and challenges. The part that stuck with me the most, however, is the very beginning of the book. That first chapter lays out one of the most important steps: you have to desire to change. When you are working on holiness, it isn’t just enough to do good things a lot of the time just because you know it’s what you’re supposed to do. Before any conversion can happen, you have to fully want to convert, you have to desire to change with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

I think a lot of people believe that they have a desire to change, a desire to do better in the areas they struggle with. But when push comes to shove, so often we fall right back into the same sins and failings that we always do. As an example, let’s say someone has a problem with drinking too much on their own after work. They know that this isn’t the best for them, that they shouldn’t willingly get drunk. And there may be times when they do a really good job for a few weeks of avoiding that. But they will never be able to overcome this until they get to the point that they actually want to change. Once this realization happens, then they can start making progress.

This week marks the beginning of the Advent season. It actually is the shortest Advent we could possibly get, at only 22 days long since Christmas falls on a Monday this year. And with both Advent and Lent, we so often focus on wanting to change parts of our lives – cutting out a bad habit, adding more prayer into our lives, spending more time focusing on family. However, I encourage you to take some time here at the beginning of this Holy Season to look at your own heart. Are you wanting to change just because you’ve heard more prayer is good for you? Are you wanting to avoid a bad habit just so you don’t have to go to Confession as frequently? Are you wanting to get along with your family better just so that the Christmas meal will be less awkward? Or do you truly desire to change? Do you want to be holy in all that you do, say, and think? If you are not there yet, that is okay. Maybe allow these few weeks of Advent to be a reflection on what it is you are clinging on to, what you are afraid of losing, and allow yourself to surrender to the Lord. God has great plans for all of you, and He can work wonders in your life. But He needs your permission first. He needs you to truly want to change and turn everything over to Him.